- “The tension I have with my brother now is probably the healthiest thing that has happened in our lives.”
- Bart Millard says his older brother is his "absolute hero."
Hollywood and Christian music fans cheered when Bart Millard blew up the box office with a movie exposing his painful past with his abusive father.
But Millard’s only sibling wasn’t celebrating.
Instead, Stephen Millard lashed out, accusing his younger brother of exaggerating their father’s abuse to sell more tickets.
“It ripped my heart out,” Bart Millard said earlier this month. “It destroyed me.”
Months after the March release of “I Can Only Imagine,” though, the Millard brothers have started healing the rift.
Need a break? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle.
They’re starting —slowly —to talk about traumatic issues from their past, discussions that have added a depth to their relationship they’ve never had, said Bart Millard, singer for the popular contemporary Christian band MercyMe.
For that, he is grateful.
“The tension I have with my brother now is probably the healthiest thing that has happened in our lives.”
Stephen Millard could not be reached for this story.
'Man, that's hard to watch'
Stephen Millard, five years older, at first encouraged his brother to make a movie that centered on their childhood, Bart said.
Movie makers landed actor Dennis Quaid to play their dad, and after filming wrapped last year, Bart Millardwent to his Texas hometown in August to show a first cut to his mother and brother.
His mother, in tears, said the movie was accurate. His brother said, “Man, that’s hard to watch,”and then he changed the subject.
In the book and movie, the Millards’ father was portrayed as once whipping his younger son so savagely with a razor strap and paddle that the boy thought he was going to die. Bart Millard eventually reconciled with his dad, holding his father's hand when he died of cancer in 1991.
A week before the movie premiere, Stephen Millard called to say he didn’t think he would be there.
And that unleashed one of the most contentious conversations the two brothers ever had.
“Don’t you think you kinda embellished to sell more tickets?” Stephen said.
Bart snapped: “How dare you!”
His brother then uttered a bunch of denials:
“Dad was never that bad.”
“I think I had a different childhood than you.”
“Dad would spank us, but I don’t remember that (abuse) at all.”
Bart couldn’t believe it.
“You could’ve just punched me square in the face,” he said.
Wedgies and wrestling
The brothers spoke very little in the months after. Bart concedes he didn't reach out much during that time.
“I Can Only Imagine” opened at No. 3 and amassed an incredible $83 million. Themovie cost $7 million to make.
MercyMe started selling out more and more shows, and mainstream entertainment industry media marveled at ticket sales for the faith-based movie.
But Bart Millard, 45, could hardly enjoy the success. He thought he might be losing his relationship with his brother.
“If I never talk to my brother again,” he told his wife repeatedly, “none of this is worth it.”
Like most little brothers, Bart Millard worshiped his big brother growing up. Even more so because Stephen always protected his little brother, especially when their father got angry.
The two had a normal, loving relationship as kids, complete with wedgies and wrestling and punching each other in the shoulder.
As they became adults, Stephen started working at a factory in Dallas and raising his own family.
“My brother is my absolute hero,” Bart said. “The one place I thought I’d never had an issue is with my brother, who always had my back.
“To know it hurt him deeply was devastating to me.”
Thanksgiving with family
About three months ago, though, Stephen Millard phoned his brother, and thecallchanged it all.
After some small talk, the two got into deeper discussions about their dad and their childhoods.
“It all started coming out,” Bart Millard said. “And it was beautiful.”
Bart Millard came to think that his older brother probably carried some guilt about knowing their father’s abuse got worse when Stephen Millard left the house when he went to college.
“The reason he's my hero is he's the kind of guy who would bestruggling with the fact that he wasn’t there to protect me,and that’s at the root of it all. It was up to me to say, 'Hey man, there's nothing you could've done.'"
Bart Millard said his relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s the healthiest that it has ever been.
“I thought maybe I wouldn’t see my brother again,” he said, “and now, I’ll see him at Thanksgiving.”
HOLIDAY SALE: Subscribe to The Tennessean for less than $1 per month
Reach Brad Schmitt at brad@tennessean.com or 615-259-8384 or on Twitter @bradschmitt.
'I Can Only Imagine':MercyMe's Bart Millard thought his father was going to kill him
Box office surprise:Movie industry 'dismissed' film prior to smash success, director says
